(written in late December 2013 week of Christmas eve to New Years Day)
Happy New Years to you if you are a fan, social friend, admirer of me, or if you just came across my videos and website somehow just at random!
On Valentines day and on certain holidays the numbers of people searching me and viewing my websites shoots up.
I would just assume it might be girls I met before who still have a secret crush and fascination about me doing their yearly duties of spying and day dreaming about me from afar. If someone "hates or dislikes me" they do not normally go to my websites on holidays to soak me all in for their amusement and pleasure. . . In fact if I was disliked by someone usually they don't deal with me in having another confrontational situation and interaction ever again.
But online with attractive girls, that is often sometimes going to be a different element in life where the rules of social protocol are skewed and the lines of what is respectful or acceptable behaviors for how you might treat or interact with other people you met before who did not become your friend can be changed, crossed, and no longer quite as clear to people anymore because of the instant accessibility of the internet and search engines and online content about someone that the person has posted themselves for others to see and read or watch with almost complete anonymity to not have someone know you were paying attention to them and kind of observing and studying that person from your computer. I could be guilty of that online behavior watching other peoples websites myself, if it were not for the fact that if someone impresses me, and interests me, I contact them and say hello to introduce myself or tell them they have done a good job and some supportive positive feedback. I put myself out there, willing to be shot down and possibly rejected maybe if the other person does not want my approval or attention to them. Also if someone is far from my friend and we did not end well when working together or knowing each other as my boss or my peer I had to encounter, I never ever care to go look up and pay attention to anyone who I'm over with and they hated me and I did not like them. If they are gone and out of my life, then good riddance, I'm not going to be interested in them or their lives at all anymore, especially not on a regular basis as has been my case with some girls or models I have met before who are frequently over the years been going back more than once to my various websites and my profiles after her brush off or her chosen rejection of me and my interest about her and previous attempt in getting to be around her and able to get to know her better than I did as a stranger or acquaintance had already been my failure.
It is not hard or rocket science to figure out which girls who played hard to get and brushed me off are still my #1 number one most loyal online fans and followers.
I get it, it's a game.
Tag your it, now go away I'm ignoring you.....Life goes on...I get older, but you still are into me, but don't want me? Who can stop you? not me!
Have a good holiday and happy new years!
I can't say that I'll see you soon...but you'll be back to do more fixating about me many many more times. So see you then, in top secret online internet secrecy style! Somehow this scapegoat of the big bad wolf you fear which in fact is really your secret crush you are just to shamed of, feel guilty about, and to embarrassed to admit about to yourself or anyone else in real life is from a great distance as an anonymous online crush. I don't know....I guess in life strangeness happens. And it happens a lot to me. More online hide and go seek is how some young women who are models or look like gorgeous pin up supermodels behave.
Not quite as funny as my comedy but still very silly!
In fact it is like clockwork time schedules of when some bikini supermodels arrive on my websites and web pages each year...Like I am a yearly or seasonal ritual they feel they need to participate in, meditate on, or worship of me. OK....Whatever...Strange....Quirky unusual guys attract quirky unusual girls? So weird behavior is something you might maybe expect to get from weird people?
Do your thing....Steady as she goes captain, no trouble on the bridge Admiral.
It is not my big ego, or delusions of grandeur, it is a very common trait and behavior pattern some good looking women who are every day sought after by lots of various men and admirers have, that I have come across and experienced various times already before.
They spend more time in a bikini at the beach or laying lounging on top of a motor bike or old classic hot rod or in the swimming pool in a modeling photo shoot than on me and my websites, but they still are lingering around my online profiles and sites, not paid of course, no copy, no credit, no meal, no tear sheet, no trades, no jpegs, no resume work included in this...just good old fashioned window shopping without making any store sales purchases to contact me by saying hello and getting to know me. Using my natural gift and ability to use deductive logic I put together various forms of certain peoples behaviors and thinking patterns I can recognize and figure out. None of it is science or actual fact based, it is educated guesses and assumptions with minimal clues that seem to continually add up to a result educated guess that is often not that off target at all. My hunches may not be exact or even correct every single time, but often they are correct. I know it. She knows it. We are both on either side of the field aware of the competitive match 'Game' involved and it's weird process it's supposed to be played out as or something? 'Games' like cat and mouse, chase and catch me if you can. But I stopped playing on my end, to much risk and not enough reward principle. Know when to pick your battles, choose which battles to fight....I chose to not be seen as the big horrible bad guy, or the scapegoat. That brings shame and no self worth down upon on me to be seen as a bad guy bothering another person. I stop playing the 'Games' and the girls still are on my websites many more times.
Damned of I do and damned if I don't because she knew I really liked her and had a huge crush on her.
Unhealthy behaviors is not funny, it throws people like me off, sure, but I get older and my views go up from certain women on my sites. I might feel a bit out of place this way, but at least I can say I did not act like a jerk anymore for a really long time now and stopped my part of being the fall guy bad guy opponent in the game, which is more humiliating and shameful than romantic or good for me. If I choose to have some self respect for myself, that is the right choice, I hope, at least the one I'm choosing to go with and stay with. If you still are up into me from afar online, then that's your thing, not mine. You can end the 'Games' and be a real life grown up person and accept all of me for who I am embarrassing or not if I might be a bit nerdy, to much of a day dreamer with very rich active strong imagination, or a dork compared to cooler flashier people you want to be associated with, and what exactly is so scary to get to know me and not this Avatar extension online profile BS? I am all what you see is what you get salesman. You got the picture already.
Why am I still a guilty pleasure you have that you hide from everyone and view only in secret?
Just ask me about my cat or what books I read that I liked this month, or things in stand up comedy or art history I'm super excited about!!! That is an easy opener for me. Or do some sharing about yourself and your life for me to know about?
I love movies, talented people, and animals, so if you are uncertain or sure what to say to me...tell me about them.
Obviously I am self aware of feeling like I am alone in life. Obviously I put myself out there to the world and unveil all my quirks, demons, and creative imagination and insights for anyone and everyone to see online. I am not like some shallow dim light bulb brained chick who takes selfies of her taking a shower or bath and then blasts men for going to her instagram or web profile page she posts free pin up photos to, I know some people may or may not see my web pages and web page profile accounts. Not everyone cares that I am unique or interesting. Some people follow me more than others do. By now I have a good idea of who my audience is after years of researching who wants to see what I talk about or show online. I never expected that in real life the sexiest girls who get hit on all the time and asked out every single day of their lives would be a bigger follower and fan than comic book nerds, artists, eccentrics, educated adults with college degrees, or hot and bothered men sitting at home search engine typing for hot girls like I share insights or stories about online on my sites. All the above do go to my websites....But hot supermodel chicks are my number 1 fan followers now and shy reserved british men who have a fear of meeting others or social anxiety of rejection or public speaking are 2nd in line of most common and loyal followers. British shy introverted men who fear rejection or social situation discomfortable shame and rejection instead of someones approval love me and my website. Hopefully I helped that shy british guy(s) meet new people or aggressively exert themselves in a social situation they were apprehensive to face before reading my blogs and stories of complete social fearlessness I have while still being socially awkward at times. They basically learned...you need to put yourself out there and socialize all the time with strangers, or almost anyone....and that you will get rejected....no way around it...it is par for the course....that not everyone you meet and come across will accept you or like you. How did I help my number 1 fan followers of former dream girls I have a huge tremendous crush on who have rejected me already before and cut me off? I am not sure how I have been of any interest or of help to these sexy women?! Do they want to study and read up on the nerdy type guys they have shit all over and rejected as unworthy of her cherished valuable time for years now? Maybe they want to use me as a kind of dysfunctional emotional guy freak show to peer in and be spooked by somehow as a cheap thrill of amusement? Do they feel guilty they are such a complete asshole to so many people like myself who liked her and all she did was treat me like garbage, so the only way they can admit they are a real creep and nasty jerk is to read some guy going off and ranting his heart out about being hurt and not fitting in easily anywhere he goes in life? Do they read or watch my videos to see what it might be like to have all the artistic talent in the world and the social skills to engage and approach almost anyone anywhere I go in life in conversation and getting to meet someone new but still failing socially many times with various rejections....rejections they themselves as pretty girls do not encounter or face from men because guys pay attention and kiss up to women they want to have sex with somehow if they feel they have a shot with her. The girls who no one rejects and no one turns down or ever says no to, maybe that is my main audience...That seems to make some sense at least now if I think about it. Because they do not get rejected or turned away by others and do not have to work very hard at anything they do and will always have praise and positive attention handed to them without ever having to work for it or prove themselves worthy of the attention guys give an attractive woman instantly right way for anything she does or doesn't even do. They might see or read about how hard I work, how much effort I put into things, and they decide to live vicariously through me for that. The spoiled bratty sexy girl who is always bored and not amused by all the attention she always gets only because she is pretty and men are hungry for possible sex with her likes the guy who works his ass off and still gets rejected by others all the time..???? The weirdest part of this whole ritual and dance of her cyber snooping me is SHE IS SOMEONE WHO REJECTED ME....Why read or watch all the time an artist comedian talk about rejection and not fitting in if you not only turned me down but emotionally devastated me by lying to my face in person or shaming me by treating me like a misfit freak that doesn't deserve to be able to say hello to someone as self important as her? No matter how many non fiction psychology books I read, people are unpredictable, hypocritical, dishonest, and to strange to fully figure out 100%....Women who are young, sexy and attractive still are so fickle you have zero idea of any consistency, pattern of behavior or their thinking abilities, it's like I guess trying to deal with a schizophrenic person not taking her meds and trying to have a healthy rational conversation or relationship with a person chemically imbalanced.....But the crazy part is these supermodels are not diagnosed as schizoprenics or pyschopaths....yet they act like they escaped from the walls of the asylum and somehow ended up at the nightclubs looking glamorous with all the different famous sports stars and famous rap or rock stars they hook up with as his cheap toys to play with and toss away when he is bored or she easily breaks because she is very fragile and cheaply made and not meant to last very long as a toy. Maybe they really connect to and identify with me the need for constant approval, praise, and attention as much as possible...This is something both pin up bikini supermodels and stand up comedians have both in common as people...The need to be noticed and heard and seen by others paying attention to you, the need to amuse or impress people to see your true self come out and like you, the need to mask your deep insecurities with your strengths, for men it is our wits, minds, intellect and humor storytelling skills and public speaking. For women it is her knowledge in how to look and move herself in a sexy way that drives men wild with passion and lust. For both of us it is a natural skill we have that we have to keep working on to feel filled up inside. If a socially fearless nerd comedian like myself and a gorgeous stunning but intellectual and ethically morally lazy supermodel have one common thing we can connect to it is a hurt damaged person seeking approval and recognition from others, we both want lots of attention. Oftentimes we both get that desired attention if we work at it enough, men with using his sharp wit being on stage performing, women with doing her hair make up and sexy skimpy outfits to reveal her exposed curves of her body and her ability to maintain her sexuality and prowess while working a long tiring day at the booth at the conventions or while doing a model shoot that takes lots of energy and focus to stay in character in a contained environment which is her stage she performs her character on as the talented actress playing a role that is very believable and convincing to the male audience.
As for the social friends who know me or of me and like me and my art as creative types like myself, thanks for stopping by again. Glad you came back once again, hope you and your unique art endeavors have been engaging and interesting trials and errors for you to keep growing as an artist and inspired creative person! so except for this last paragraph the above rant stand down confrontation has nothing at all to do with you and your support and kindness to me that I have appreciated very much. All the above relates solely to the girls who were teases or bad news for me who knew I liked them and still went about doing a non sensical combination of outright obvious rejection of me ignoring or avoiding me that really hurt badly while simultaneously hovering over me online on my social networking profiles and various websites the way an average everyday person observes a big movie star they are not used to seeing when they finally observe one out in public. Former friends who dropped me as their friend or lost contact with me a while now are all neutral territory. Because they were just friends, even if we were very close friends intimacy and our bonding was always just only a buddy thing. A woman I was head over heels just totally smitten and crazy about affects me in a way that nothing else can move me. People I had various fall outs with, and butted heads with maybe got me torn up...But it was totally different than someone I endeared as a kind of love romantic affection towards could possibly affect or phase me at that kind of level. Former friends even if their rejection really saddened me, it is not something that could ever even come close to emotionally moving me one way or another compared to the women I have fallen super madly in love with from afar...I saw her/you yourself/your friend/daughter/sister around and what I wanted in a relationship with her never came true, most often it blew up completely in my face with me feeling very ashamed and humiliated and left completely burning up inside. I have no desire to sweep off their feet or romance and get intimate with any friends, former friends, lost friends, or former enemies/misunderstood relationships with power struggles.......The way the women I dreamed about captured me and my attention. The two things of regular people good and bad encounters do not mix with the women I just adored and desired 100%. Plenty of people have changed my life in various ways over the years as both a supportive positive person I cherished looked forward to being with and around as great company, people as a neutral acquaintance or social friendship, or people I struggled with or did not do well with or seem to get along with or feel very safe or comfortable around much at all. No one I wanted more than the girl of my dreams. I set my sights often I am told to high, to attain a woman so beautiful as her/you that as a naive or childlike guy with a sense of wonder still intact and fully activated to discharge and delegate in creative ways at a moments notice....That she was unattainable and impossible odds to get as person in my day to day romantic life or otherwise real life day to day encounters. I went for what I liked and what my mind, my body, and my soul told me I liked and notified me right away as to her/your presence. Kind of like an alarm that goes off when you won a big prize like on the slot machines at the Indian or Vegas Casinos when you hit a big jackpot...that kind of internal extreme excitement... Which I love and crave because it is rare and not common except when ever I can see the girl I am in love with as a huge crush I have on her about in person or in the online published photos of her. I live for that rush of feeling and sensation when I look at the girl I have a crush on and extreme attraction towards. I never know when the next or new woman I like in that way will appear till my body gets that shockwave when I see the one of a kind outstanding sexy person that stands out from all the rest as a really hot girl. I have not lived up to my dreams, my expectations, my hopes, my desires, my ambitions, my plans, my goals, and my pursuits of action. Yes I tried, I pursued her, I followed through to make myself and my interests or intentions known, but I have failed many times. Terribly in fact many times. What do I have to say or show for myself now? I gave it a shot, I bombed, I'm a fighter and a scrapper. You can't call me a quitter. I got hit and knocked out cold. I was never a bum, didn't take a dive, but also never was a champ. A hopeless romantic emotional intense guy is like having a glass jaw as a prize fighter. I have hid away and ran away from women who approved of me or liked me back sometimes before...Why if a woman was respectful, on the level with me and normal person around me my interest and attraction to her shrank away in a protective heavily guarded fashion is an embarrassment, major character flaw I seem to have as a big coward around respectable, decent, respectful to me back women that I just tend to clam up into my shell. Mature women who are trustworthy and totally truthful can be imposing to me and make me nervous and uncomfortable, much different than in a way that a slutty girl, someone vain and into her sex appeal, who shows off what she has got as a babe, an air head, hot bimbo, or insecure girl who relieves solely on her good looks to do almost everything in her day to life will not make me so ill at ease with myself to be around the woman as a romantic type date. The mature woman represents high expectations and rules and regulations I have to keep up with or fail under. The insecure or immature and childlike sexy good looking woman does not cause me that regulation or expectations of higher standards or else discomfort...She has not yet lost her childlike immature state of mind and life style. I relate to and thrive upon that persona and way of life I see in the hot dumb not very bright or grown up like a real adult who acts their age and responsible as women. I don't want someone always dissapointed and dissaproving of me. Insecure and immature not very bright but extremely sexy and erotic sensual hot babes fill both a void and a spot I can easily connect to an identify with her right away. It is not a mistake of mine...I do not have a choice in the matter as a form of options of what I can convince myself to like or find attractive or not. Believe me I have tried so many times. I have a type...that type likes guys who are bad ass or tough bad boys or rich or famous dudes who will throw money and a jet set life style her way as his traveling sex mistress partner. Comic book nerds and eccentric intellectual off beat artists and deep thinkers and dreamers are not on her radar as a guy she wants to snatch up for herself before someone else gets to me first before her. People think I set myself up for this form of failure. I have not, at least not intentionally on my behalf...I have liked, desired and gone for a certain type of sexy cute girl that stood out to me since I was in kindergarten. A lot of it is a natural form of human overcompensation of choosing the best looking healthiest prettiest women to select to hope to breed with to propel the species getting rid of my flawed health concerns and natural uneasy anxieties and day to day chemical balance that is not easy to deal with day in day out...As intelligent as I am, I was self aware of this need to choose a certain type of woman as my mate since age 4 or 5. Her trustworthiness, her often questionable morals or varying degrees of her limited available intelligence she has at her immediate disposal have little to nothing to do with my internal attraction to this type of select bombshell hot babe bikini model looking woman very easy on the eyes. I want to be seen as appealing and cool to her as something she is in awe about and attracted to and amused greatly by me. Intelligent woman as smart or just as smart as me can brush me off as unimportant or unworthy of her attention and approval...If she has her own standards for herself that I can not reach the bar in as far as her intelligence, her intellect and capabilities, her career, her job, her degrees, her pay, her income, bills, resources. If I end up being just a dumb nerd not making enough money or enough out my life and zero things about me impress her...Why in hell would I go put myself through that kind of misery and torture??? I can offer what is on my plate that I already got in me and available, and then some in my loaded up munitions and fully stocked up arsenal of intellectual and enlightened and creative imaginative enthusiasm. Being dumb or smart does not make someone better than me or less than me and my respect and acknowledgement of herself. Very smart educated women are not so easily impressed by anything I have to offer. Girls who are hot but damaged and dysfunctional, tender, raw, now in the moment, insecure people who put all their available skills and confidence in herself into how she turns heads and just drives men wild and crazy has an appeal I feel a connection to and that I need and want in my life on both a survival instinctual connection that is from an internal part of myself and not by my personal choices, and she is less of a threat, less of a challenge that she can drop me for being better than me. She might drop me for a hotter better looking guy or more affluent guy at any moments notice with or without my knowledge. But as a innocent childlike adult with her sense of wonder and flirtations still fully intact she is better prepared to love to me unconditionally than a woman competing with me on who is the smartest to run things or best financial provider of the home I would be staying in...Like I'm always under the gun to be removed and fired as not good or qualified enough to keep my job of pleasing her and her high demands I would never be able to please and meet..Besides educated smart women do not often most of the time worry about how good she looks to men or how sexy she looks and do not flirt with and tease and try to sexually excite all the guys she meets or who check her out the way a good looking woman does. And if she is smart, educated, well off and employed and still really hot....Let someone else take her and be constantly under the gun to be blasted and put down as not being and doing better than her with her career, or making as much money as her all the damn time...Quirky and cute and adorable sexy chicks...man they might not go for me...ever...they might be hard to get access to an actual date with that she agrees to...but she is not a threat to me in my areas of my extreme creative, imaginative, passionate, and intellectual strengths...I want to enjoy life and have a funny girl who is always an amusing turn on for me, both for her adoring love for me and her jaw dropping double take rocking curvacious healthy hard body and gorgeous pretty face and hair and eyes. hot women who are not the rude belittling mean jerks or bullies are much more pleasing and amusing to be with and around when interacting with them. Hot a-hole chicks I might find attractive but would not get far with, I would not take her insults or constant put downs spit at me. I like the nice immature not super smart perfect 10 vulnerable from a distance hot babes with an air of psychical attraction confidence that their personal mental self image does not connect with as one and the same...where she knows she is hot and get anyone she wants, when ever and whom ever she wants to have...but she still dislikes many things and many flaws about herself, that inward displeasure and inward discomfort and sadness she has is so relatable and damn sexy to me...I just eat it up!!! That vulnerability she has in her eyes and her face and emotions and that lifetime of her pain and hardships she endured is just so sexy...A low class, toughness and her soft brittle tender outer shell showing the visible cracks interior emotional health damage and hurt...but the streetwise low class level mixed with the look and vibe of a high class gentleman's hooker expensive paid escort call girl, trophy wife, mistress, rich mans personal concubine, everyman's fantasy look perfect sexy looking exterior but hurt damaged interior...man that is just it! That is the very foundation for the appeal and successful career that pin up models and bikini models have to keep and retain their male fans from day one till their aging post bikini modeling career days of a past bygone era when their looks have moved long past their youthful prime, and they now look old and no longer as fertile, young, athletic, firm, strong, and sexy as they once were when at the height of their popularity with her fans who loved her and sexually desired after her as his ideal dream fantasy girl. Surgeries, do not count as far as her looking or remaining young...It is the vulnerable insecurity that drives the men bananas and her delusional undertaking in her much published lifestyle and totally shallow and reckless sexually promiscuous adventures, that was an act of anger and straight up rage at the world or her previous abuse or abusers of her past more than her just truly enjoying life and having fun...or it could be she not ever abused before but is just crazy and spoiled as someone no one ever says no to anything she decides she will go and do. So she no one who gives her any repercussions for any of her behaviors, actions, or not well thought out decisions she makes. It is her way of creating an image she is having lots of fun, her own mockumentary (scripted plot story with actors made to look just like real life documentary project) lifestyle trying to convince herself it is fun and great as she tries to publicize all of it as a bragging rights expose, that is often more embarrassing and humiliating to her when you see and watch what she shows or the people who used her said about her afterwards than it is not at all glamorous and flattering...but trash talking crap about her inadequacy as a less than human. The rap video bikini model girl lifestyle can be more of a freak show circuit for mentally ill or emotionally disturbed and unbalanced women than traditional Hollywood Royalty of big name affluent stars with all it's glitz and glamour and lives people only dream about. It is pretty much her throwing a temper tantrum by way of using men for lots of random sex partners to fill a huge void and fear of being boring or ignored and neglected as she was when she was a child before she became sexually active and a slut to be popular, liked, and fit in better with her peers who were not her friends before she opted to put out to be liked and no longer lonely and considered uncool, so she fell to peer pressure to fit in and get accepted by the cooler kids as a quick fix, that she never grew put of as a tactic she employs to have guys like her right away, but not long lasting relationships or friendships with the men she sells her soul body and soul to so quickly that the guys diss her and disrespect her as a groupie and side hoe to their wives or girlfriend, once the rap or sport stars screws the girl they trash talk her as worthless gross out cheap garbage, she used him for attention and bragging rights that she had sex with someone really famous and popular and loudly announces it very publicly to all her male fans and followers online who wish they got what the guy she just screwed as part of her career move of sleeping her way up to the top just had, and he uses these weak girls. She did not make sure he liked or appreciated her and her sex or company before jumping instantly into intercourse with the famous guys, he did not make sure she even knew his music or sports career or even liked anything about him except for the fact that he knows she is a sure thing, does this with almost everyone she meets that is famous or semi famous all the time, he knows she is going to brag to the world about getting him and being with him for her own status. He figures, hey she is hot, does not even need to make sure that I even like or respect her, and if I don't do her right now, then one of my peers in sports or music stars will jump in and take my place and spot in line of her list of famous guys to bang. Why not take the perks of my fame now while it lasts before I retire or meet and marry a woman I actually like and want as company that I can stand to be around more than just the sex and settle down with in my own home together. The groupies are considered dummies by the guys, gross, not trophy wife material to be with as a full time boyfriend or husband to this disposable play thing toy. A bimbo slut groupie is to embarrassing for an athlete or pop star to use as his own way and tool of acceptance from other his peers and the public representing him and his own status of being an envy of others to make him look good as she has his kids and does lots of charity work and public charitable events. The wives of many famous sports stars are very attractive often models that still work in the modeling world, and if they retired from modeling they now are philanthropists for maintaining his public image in the public and private sector for his personal brand image that gets more commercial product endorsements if she has some class and leadership skills to her image as a now very wealthy woman in society. Meanwhile the immature bikini model outrageous wild groupies and supermodels living on the edge that I often crush badly on will use a constant flow of various drugs and alcohol to numb her brains ability to deal with her pain and actions and stupid choices she keeps making, that she doesn't feel good about, at least not long enough for any of the fun to truly last and feel right inside her. The guys do not marry the groupies and hoes because they are not to be trusted, not loyal to him and his huge ego about his greatness in movies, sports, or music, and not smart or calm and classy enough to be prepared to represent him as his wife that would require a certain public figure image to keep his status in his industry and not be cuckold or laughing stock with rumors spreading about that would humiliate and embarrass him greatly and take his god like image down to a fallen idol of a weakling that the fans and peers will tear him apart about. That is why it is much safer for a famous sports star to marry a famous international fashion model who might be as self centered and vain as he is, but would not publicly cheat or go crazy at parties and clubs on her own that would lead to the idol on the pedestal to look trashy and low class. If she works or volunteers for a cause or acceptable foundation it already makes him look good and seen as a trustworthy and important leader in the community from her efforts representing him on her behalf. An immature groupie who still wants to go out and publicize getting black out drunk, high, or laid by cheating on him is a public relations suicide nightmare, especially if she drunk drives, hurts someone, hurts herself, gets arrested, or gets in the news for being an out of control complete idiot. The street prostitute player and hustler who came from nothing turned new money royalty overnight will kill a rich guys career or reputation if she has "well then let them eat cake" delusional disrespectful attitudes to everyone but herself including the area and life where she came from.
If she has no class what so ever now just a sex fantasy lifestyle going on, and she does not want to grow up mature and change herself and her choices, attitude and her behaviors...He can't marry her or been seen with her as his final selection for a permanent mate if he plans on being seen as a positive public figure with a good reputation others will approve of and admire about him or be envious of his life. He has to be with someone others approve of publicly in general who will not rock the boat as a crazy person make him look uncool, and looked down upon by others at large as very low class instead of rich and now upper class status and looked up to as a person of local leadership and community or national pride. He needs someone not embarrassing but acceptable and easily reputable to fit right in into the community and town his team lives in. Charities work and various helpful causes to those in need people or environmental or Opera Houses, Art Museums, pet animal foundations, conservation efforts, special needs kids or adults programs, teaching programs for those with needs not met and overlooked is an easy job for a new money house wife to be keeping busy without getting busy behind his back and help maintain a public image that makes him look responsible, ethical, and like he actually cares about other people besides himself. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't either way the public and his fans are happy he is a staple as a role model and humanitarian to the kids in the community he is in.
Basically the reason sports stars or famous guys do not marry their groupies or hoes they employ or pay for or giving her gifts of various sums to for a little pussy is:
The stupider she looks, The stupider he looks.
If she looks and acts foolish she will tarnish the type of reputation he is trying to build to either be a sports caster on TV after he retires, get into politics, become a sports team professional coach on the pro or top college level, have companies use and trust him for their commercial endorsement deals. He probably came from nothing or next to nothing and poverty. Now that he is rich he wants to fit in, not have everyone quickly lock their car doors when they see him walk past them in his million dollar homes gated community neighborhood he now resides in. He made it from low class poverty to within the short years of college sports to the pros upper class wealth of multiple millions of dollars to his name that would most likely not have ever been possible with out his hard work and athletic ability gifts at sports. Now that he made it to the American Dream to become very rich with the means of his newfound wealth, he needs to maintain the public trust and approval. His wife and family should not be seen as a threat or imposing and stand out to much at all to the general public, whose approval of him will decide how he spends his retirement and available options he can have during his sports career and then after he is retired from playing the games. Crazy unbalanced chicks who were rock star groupies like a Courtney Love type, well they fit right in with the sex drugs and rock and roll lifestyle and bad ass live fast die young reputation you can expect from rock stars. Kirk Cobain was probably not going to be doing Pepsi or Dr.Pepper commercial campaigns to get a youth demographic to drink the sodas, or his own signature brand of sneakers. Famous athletes, because kids play sports in school and as teenagers in their youths. Will be almost taboo to mention once it comes out that they use drugs, or did something terrible most of the public and general population is disgusted by at large. Rock Stars and Rap Stars everyone figures will end up in rehab or found dead chocking on their own vomit possibly one day. Most parents let the musicians be something that soothes down or connects to their rebellious child who is trying to got through the stages of growing pains to become an adult in the adult world eventually and move away from being an offshoot of his or her parents but her own unique person with individual beliefs. Most parents do not tell their kids to be like or live like a rock star who lives his or her life right on the edge, but they let the kids admire them as a form of their independence from their parents and teachers and personal self awareness of themselves no longer being little kids but teenage adults. Sports stars are pushed as role models to kids and teens by the parents and the schools. Once you get involved with something that a teacher or parent could not get mixed up in themselves and still have a job or good reputation if they did the same action bad thing the athlete was just got caught at, you are cast off till you rebrand your image and people are willing to give you another chance over time. For famous athletes it seems to be that time heals all wounds unless you have killed someone or animals. Sports stars often live fast exciting lives just like the rock stars do, but when the public finds out about the illegal drugs be it recreational drugs to get high or performance enhancing drugs, the adultery with the regular groupies, call girls, the random various sluts they were not aware of because his marriage seemed so happy and his family he fathered so normal and picture prefect, or his illegal activities like sports gambling while playing professional sports, they have to quickly do damage control, as every fan who loved them before now hates them and wants them gone for good! Remove them from the public eye now! They should not be seen as a role model for who they are and what they have done! Sports figures are trumped a lot as role models to kids and teens. So when they get caught and the news leaks and comes out about their real actual lives, the daily role models of kids and teens the parents, relatives, and teachers now want to share the almost biblical character flawed morals lesson story of our recent fallen idol and what you can learn from them and why you should be very upset about it and want them gone scratched from our memories about them at all.
The girls I seem to continually like the most and notice the most make their flirting, teasing and sexually exciting me and all the other men playful and fun. It's not just all strictly business of did I meet the standards and get the work done on time and at the level expected it be completed in as such without the need for disciplinary actions to take place against me or anyone else who has fallen behind or below the level of expectation. some guys want that shit and that type of high maintenance unimpressed woman dating you like she needs to lay off fire and get rid of dismiss more people under her management supervision from their jobs as her not equal underling who can at any time be reprimanded or need to let go and removed. I want the playful, youthful, spirited girls, I don't care if they have not fully developed their minds, brains, wisdom of her life and decisions she makes still, or her not fully blossomed intellect yet the same way their bodies have very much developed fully and filled out quite well to a fertile ripe healthy full grown adult young woman capable of having strong kids who will survive if she were to become pregnant. I like the approval you can get from a sexy girl who still flirts and acts with unconditional love and lust towards the men she chooses to settle for or submit herself with to not reject away but get embraced and loved by, coming from her like a title wave that blows men away they possibly could get a girl this unbelievably smoking scorching completely hot.
To me the saddest part of the play of the Peter Pan Story by J.M. Barrie is when Peter Pan comes back to visit Wendy his former girlfriend and she is all grown up. He is the same as he was and has always been, he did not change. But she did, she grew up and now was more like a disapproving mom authority figure with him, telling Peter, I'm an adult now, I can't go back and play with you anymore ever again. I'm told old to play with you now Peter! She is a little annoyed that he doesn't get it and her strong station in her life as a mature woman now dull, firm on sticking to no longer being playful at all like she once was. instead of now being cool he is out of touch and immature, looks lost, misplaced, a misfit, and someone to pity rather than receive her praise and admiration to him as years before with her. Luckily for Peter she has a daughter now who is just like her from 25 years ago and Peter Pan takes her to go with him to Never Never Land and be his new girlfriend till she comes back home to London and will also grow up and leave having fun behind her as thing of the past now almost completely forgotten a barely accessible or available fading memory that is hard to or even worthwhile for her time and energy to try to think about the past is the past, so who cares, it's gone, gone as if it never existed at all because we are now in the present moment in our lives. Well I try not to live in the past much. I do my best to be in the present moment, but I often am as a collector, artists, salesman, or hustler trying to line up something good for myself in the near or far off future. working towards goals I want in the present moment not readily available to me as something I want but can not and do not have any access to owning or being with right now, so I will line things up in place as best I could to try to have my wishes and dreams come true later on as initially planned. Well life will not often work out this way unfortunately. In fact many if not most of my ambitions or hopes I wished for to come true never come to be and cannot happen, or will not happen if someone or something else is part of the ambitious dream and goal, be it a new cat, a miniature horse of my own, or a loving girlfriend I relate to and feel very comfortable at ease with myself and very safe around her.
Once a girl grows up, and becomes a woman and closed off to fun and being playful and impressed with anything, or anyone else around her, like you have to win her attention enough for her to even bother to barely notice anything new now. It's a real turn off! I like people that acknowledge me and my existence. Many intelligent kind old ladies like me and appreciate me when I meet them in art classes, or in libraries they work or volunteer themselves at, usually an educated learning environment of studio classroom workshop or a bookstore filled with old rare books and relics of various types of knowledge bound together as an interesting book. Old ladies often approve of me for who I am like a grandson/grandma dynamic bond sometimes. I love approval and encouragement from strong caring intelligent women who still encourage others to explore things new and be curious and playful about life. Women who are 21 to 42 and not impressed with anyone or anything, and are on the clock watching how long it might take for you to impress them right away as being worth their time and acknowledgement is such a complete turn off. If she thinks all guys are idiots unless they throw money and gifts at her and intimidate the other men trying to have her...That is not even a battle I want to have a fight in. No one who thinks I'm not worth her time is going to work out with me if she acts unimpressed. Some hot girls act rude to me like this to me and then show up on this website and my other websites...Go figure. If a girl is cute she is still curious, playful, joyous, flirtatious, enjoying life with a youthful sense of wonder and interest about the world around her. Most women forget most men don't get turned on by an impatient demanding bossy finicky grouch bullying him like he sucks and is not good enough. No guy owes you all the stupid expectations you demand from him. Best of luck with your goals of landing this fantasy guy who cowards to you everyday and gives you everything including his self respect as you are no longer the cute young healthy hot girl you once were many years before you basically got old, having a cold demeanor mannered, acted really old, and look really old with lots of visible wear and tear .
Now I'm not saying I want to be a child my whole life, or that the lifestyle Michael Jackson lived as a childish multi millionaire hanging around with small kids as his friends was right, ethical, moral, civil, or appropriate. The guys life and actions with his behaviors was criminal and wrong to take advantage of kids who believed in him the adult as he pretended to be a like another little boy in the group of kids hanging around him when he was a often shrewd cut throat music industry businessman functioning easily in the adult world with getting what he wants and making contacts and business profits for himself and very very baby like immature in the child's universe and world for when he wanted to exploit various kids and boys over the years for himself and his desires, not for their well being as kids under his supervision and care. Whats wrong is wrong, if someone was out of line or took the whole, remain young at heart idea way to far into his exploitation of others.
But I think having fun and being whimsical, funny and playful, a bit humorous and silly at times is wonderful. Being excited and really interested in things again is really needed in peoples everyday lives, especially as adults with all our current stress we carry around and struggle with internally within our bodies and environments. As adults we worry about paying for things affording things we need live food, shoes, clothing, tooth brush, travel transportation vehicles, and housing to live safely in, and things we want but can still live without and be able to survive like an extra motorcycle to have around, or a brand new HD or 3D flat screen TV set.
I like girls when they still look like they have a sense of wonder and can be interested and amused by other people they might meet or encounter, or new things they might see and come across that intriegue them as a form of interest, amusement and curiousity. Even if they went through hell with abuse or their personal problems or are in bad shape because of a delima or circumstantial situation that had unfortunately happened to them, that sadness or fear or anger or unhappiness still can come out in a playful young youthful and naive or childlike way as a woman. Many times her face and look in her eyes does not lie to those reading the look on her face muscles, make up or no make up. I've seen it, I've liked it, and it can be very very sexy when the woman is gorgeous and so sexy and hot but running on a very child like way of living with her major damaged insecurities she has and her self sacrifices she will make to fit in and be seen with the cool crowd. what she learned by being the sexy slut to guys in high school she just applies to famous rap and sports celebrities by sleeping with everyone so she will think they like her or approve of her as a cool kid now. The guys really don't approve of her, but her childishness of her reality is hard to not watch and been so transfixed with as her fan with a crush on the fact that she has no self respect whatsoever but she was given the looks of a goddess, she hit the DNA jackpot looks wise, but she is selling and whoring out what was her blessing of being absolutely beautiful. It was hard not to fall in love with this spontaneous tragically sad and sweet little grown up girl dying to get approval from others and validation each and every day, just desperate for attention that was a void she will never in her life be able to master, control herself or fill up all the way as a damaged beautiful woman showing all the fears and sadness in a cute adorable way looking like she was built like a brick shit house as a complete bombshell babe of desire. She can fit in and get attention from all the guys for being sexy and good looking, but no amount of others approval and attention thrown her way would ever possibly be enough for her. She is needy, she is a broken woman, she is readily available to famous men, she an addict to love and comfort. She is the very definition of the word needy, desperate, and helpless, a damsel in distress trying to be cool hanging with all the bad boys and other side hoes like herself in the same boat mentally distressed and unhealthy out of control unbalanced girls with sexy looks and sexy curvaceous hourglass style bodies men all seem to be in agreement to like very very much. She can not stop herself or ever have it feels like it lasts long enough before she must do it again with someone else. I don't know that she is a sex addict as much as an attention whore addicted to someone approving and noticing her for her childish antics she constantly is endorsing as whom she is as the dumb hot chick. Guys can relate her to desperation to want to be loved and liked and fit in as someone who doesn't get ignored all the time. Bikini models use these stunts and blunders and plays they make to get negative attention all the time. It is unhealthy but a tactic they know works. When she misbehaves people look and see the woman acting up behaving badly, and she is willing to safrice her self respect and dignity because she does not have any and has not had any real dignity left for her adult and teenage life. divorce, abuse of some kind, abondonment issues big time, she is a damaged hurt scared child sleeping with the entire NBA and recording industry living as fast a life as possible till she will eventually burn out and fade away into a saddened unknown anonymous forgotten woman of sorrows lonely and old, or a life shortened than it should or could have been crash and burn and die young for living to fast and reckless about her own health and safety. or Marilyn Monroe did the same thing, slept with me for their attention and approval, and made it into a kind of game for both personal and professional self gain and personal bodily pleasures.
Not every model who has sexy curves on her hot body is a child or acts like a scared little impulsive girl. Some in fact many models I know about or know are very down to earth people. But because they are in control of themselves and not so weird and outrageous to get a morsel of attention from a guy they do not have the same appeal as the run away train. An organized hot sexy bikini model girl if she acts responsible does not thrill men the same way a wild child does. It is the whole uncivilized wild feral person matched next to a civilized person calm and collected and down to earth. Guys like the excitement of the girl who is basically a toy to play with or a small tornado ripping through everything and everyone where ever she goes. If you get more attention than her or have others notice or approve of your right away more than her, she is going to think she is in love with you. She needs the attention she is craving that badly. If people pay attention to you, they will eventually pay more attention to her and give her the love admiration and approval she really wants as that addiction of hers. She will align herself to that man, if he cheats on her or misuses or abuses or neglects and mistreats her, she will feel safe but unhappy with the familiar life experiences she knows and lived all to well through out her life. Their is no stopping her. She will run her self completely off the tracks eventually.
Huell Howser made a whole television career just out of being excited about things and people he met and saw around him. His show was a big hit with audiences on PBS because of his childlike excitable sense of wonder to ask questions and want to see something and learn about something new that got him excited to hear about it from that new person he just met. I met a negative A-hole before this year who had a shitty attitude and mocked me to my face for saying Huell Howser was cool and had a good show after he had just died. This negative moronic infantile man boy, could not stand things to be positive in nature, yet he was very immature for his age and acted childish, but what he did not have was an appreciation of imagination and that sense of wonder that things around you might be interesting or cool to see, hear, or discover and come across somehow. He had an imagination because he made angry ugly sculptures and artwork and he had good hands he worked with, but he totally lacked the ability to appreciate or enjoy anything that was not something negative. He was an Oscar the Grouch or Grinch Who Stole Christmas type of person. He did not like me and was very rude, and I did not want to be in the same room as him or deal with him because he was hoping to get under my skin and get me mad with starting a fight towards me. A bully is a coward who can't handle their own inner turmoil so they scapegoat and harass someone else to make themselves happier or fit in with their group of fellow peers by making someone else the misfit outcast. If a bully had real guts they would confront themselves and what is going on with them that is bothering them rather than lashing out at someone else around them who will probably not fight them back. Very few bullies will pick fights with someone who could clobber him to pieces mentally with words or psychically with fighting. They often pick on someone who stands out as not fitting in to begin with as a way to hurt another person, make him feel unsafe and hedge themselves with the group to accept him in and welcome him as a bully.
The real spooky part is all the surgeries these women who are knock outs choose to get work done on themselves! They are so insecure and ashamed of them selves, that they fuck up a good thing they had going for themselves by getting plastic surgery operations done in hopes that will make them look or feel prettier or sexier. Girls in their early 20's age 20, 21, 23, 24, getting plastic surgery done on her face, butt, or breasts? IT is so wrong, yet to her she thinks it feels so right!!! Why won't pin up bikini supermodels get finally that guys like a sexy cute damaged and emotional unbalanced flirtatious and impulsive woman who tries really hard to show herself and her life off at all costs just for an ounce of your attention? The stupid really off putting tattoo and changing her beautiful face and body for strange mattel barbie doll toy plastic surgery operations is just awful!!! These models do not believe the guys like me that love her for being a childlike impulsive, vain, slutty, hilarious hot chick who does nearly anything she can think of just for me and the guys to notice her day in and day out! We love her effort and seeing the damaged person strutting her stuff around, we like that confidence, but lay off the tattoos and all surgeries please! I know she will always get another tattoo, another surgery, another man, as soon as she gets insecure and nervous or feels awful inside about her life, herself, and about the world, but god damn how much space do you have left that is still blank on your body with non tattooed skin left now? And stop injecting things in your face and butt and breasts to make them bigger, just be yourself. I know saying just be yourself is a cliche generic term we all say just to say it, but with messed up sexy slutty hot chick supermodels, it is 100% percent true, we will still get to see the freakshow and abnormal hot girl without the permanent tattoos and surgeries to change her on the outside when who she is on the inside still hasn't changed from a new weird ass tattoo or bothersome surgery they should not have done to themselves! They fit in for not fitting in as somebody who does not love or respect herself and having boundaries with people. That is what we love about you a combination of your good looks, damaged insecurity, impulsive and outrageous immoral or slutty behaviors and flings or encounters and love affairs. The run away train of your life is still going to derail and fly right off the tracks and crash even if you repainted or rewelded and redesigned that same train car. It is the conductor of the train who is going to fast and reckless, the conductors the reason the fans boarded and took a seat on the train with her as we watch her life zip by us at dangerous unsafe speeds. Stand back folks, get back people, we have a pin up bikini supermodel about to travel through town here right now in any minute and I do not want any of you to get hurt or killed and in the hospital by this run away train, it is a danger, if you stay around here and want to watch it, it is all at your own risk people.
Happy New Years to you if you are a fan, social friend, admirer of me, or if you just came across my videos and website somehow just at random!
On Valentines day and on certain holidays the numbers of people searching me and viewing my websites shoots up.
I would just assume it might be girls I met before who still have a secret crush and fascination about me doing their yearly duties of spying and day dreaming about me from afar. If someone "hates or dislikes me" they do not normally go to my websites on holidays to soak me all in for their amusement and pleasure. . . In fact if I was disliked by someone usually they don't deal with me in having another confrontational situation and interaction ever again.
But online with attractive girls, that is often sometimes going to be a different element in life where the rules of social protocol are skewed and the lines of what is respectful or acceptable behaviors for how you might treat or interact with other people you met before who did not become your friend can be changed, crossed, and no longer quite as clear to people anymore because of the instant accessibility of the internet and search engines and online content about someone that the person has posted themselves for others to see and read or watch with almost complete anonymity to not have someone know you were paying attention to them and kind of observing and studying that person from your computer. I could be guilty of that online behavior watching other peoples websites myself, if it were not for the fact that if someone impresses me, and interests me, I contact them and say hello to introduce myself or tell them they have done a good job and some supportive positive feedback. I put myself out there, willing to be shot down and possibly rejected maybe if the other person does not want my approval or attention to them. Also if someone is far from my friend and we did not end well when working together or knowing each other as my boss or my peer I had to encounter, I never ever care to go look up and pay attention to anyone who I'm over with and they hated me and I did not like them. If they are gone and out of my life, then good riddance, I'm not going to be interested in them or their lives at all anymore, especially not on a regular basis as has been my case with some girls or models I have met before who are frequently over the years been going back more than once to my various websites and my profiles after her brush off or her chosen rejection of me and my interest about her and previous attempt in getting to be around her and able to get to know her better than I did as a stranger or acquaintance had already been my failure.
It is not hard or rocket science to figure out which girls who played hard to get and brushed me off are still my #1 number one most loyal online fans and followers.
I get it, it's a game.
Tag your it, now go away I'm ignoring you.....Life goes on...I get older, but you still are into me, but don't want me? Who can stop you? not me!
Have a good holiday and happy new years!
I can't say that I'll see you soon...but you'll be back to do more fixating about me many many more times. So see you then, in top secret online internet secrecy style! Somehow this scapegoat of the big bad wolf you fear which in fact is really your secret crush you are just to shamed of, feel guilty about, and to embarrassed to admit about to yourself or anyone else in real life is from a great distance as an anonymous online crush. I don't know....I guess in life strangeness happens. And it happens a lot to me. More online hide and go seek is how some young women who are models or look like gorgeous pin up supermodels behave.
Not quite as funny as my comedy but still very silly!
In fact it is like clockwork time schedules of when some bikini supermodels arrive on my websites and web pages each year...Like I am a yearly or seasonal ritual they feel they need to participate in, meditate on, or worship of me. OK....Whatever...Strange....Quirky unusual guys attract quirky unusual girls? So weird behavior is something you might maybe expect to get from weird people?
Do your thing....Steady as she goes captain, no trouble on the bridge Admiral.
It is not my big ego, or delusions of grandeur, it is a very common trait and behavior pattern some good looking women who are every day sought after by lots of various men and admirers have, that I have come across and experienced various times already before.
They spend more time in a bikini at the beach or laying lounging on top of a motor bike or old classic hot rod or in the swimming pool in a modeling photo shoot than on me and my websites, but they still are lingering around my online profiles and sites, not paid of course, no copy, no credit, no meal, no tear sheet, no trades, no jpegs, no resume work included in this...just good old fashioned window shopping without making any store sales purchases to contact me by saying hello and getting to know me. Using my natural gift and ability to use deductive logic I put together various forms of certain peoples behaviors and thinking patterns I can recognize and figure out. None of it is science or actual fact based, it is educated guesses and assumptions with minimal clues that seem to continually add up to a result educated guess that is often not that off target at all. My hunches may not be exact or even correct every single time, but often they are correct. I know it. She knows it. We are both on either side of the field aware of the competitive match 'Game' involved and it's weird process it's supposed to be played out as or something? 'Games' like cat and mouse, chase and catch me if you can. But I stopped playing on my end, to much risk and not enough reward principle. Know when to pick your battles, choose which battles to fight....I chose to not be seen as the big horrible bad guy, or the scapegoat. That brings shame and no self worth down upon on me to be seen as a bad guy bothering another person. I stop playing the 'Games' and the girls still are on my websites many more times.
Damned of I do and damned if I don't because she knew I really liked her and had a huge crush on her.
Unhealthy behaviors is not funny, it throws people like me off, sure, but I get older and my views go up from certain women on my sites. I might feel a bit out of place this way, but at least I can say I did not act like a jerk anymore for a really long time now and stopped my part of being the fall guy bad guy opponent in the game, which is more humiliating and shameful than romantic or good for me. If I choose to have some self respect for myself, that is the right choice, I hope, at least the one I'm choosing to go with and stay with. If you still are up into me from afar online, then that's your thing, not mine. You can end the 'Games' and be a real life grown up person and accept all of me for who I am embarrassing or not if I might be a bit nerdy, to much of a day dreamer with very rich active strong imagination, or a dork compared to cooler flashier people you want to be associated with, and what exactly is so scary to get to know me and not this Avatar extension online profile BS? I am all what you see is what you get salesman. You got the picture already.
Why am I still a guilty pleasure you have that you hide from everyone and view only in secret?
Just ask me about my cat or what books I read that I liked this month, or things in stand up comedy or art history I'm super excited about!!! That is an easy opener for me. Or do some sharing about yourself and your life for me to know about?
I love movies, talented people, and animals, so if you are uncertain or sure what to say to me...tell me about them.
Obviously I am self aware of feeling like I am alone in life. Obviously I put myself out there to the world and unveil all my quirks, demons, and creative imagination and insights for anyone and everyone to see online. I am not like some shallow dim light bulb brained chick who takes selfies of her taking a shower or bath and then blasts men for going to her instagram or web profile page she posts free pin up photos to, I know some people may or may not see my web pages and web page profile accounts. Not everyone cares that I am unique or interesting. Some people follow me more than others do. By now I have a good idea of who my audience is after years of researching who wants to see what I talk about or show online. I never expected that in real life the sexiest girls who get hit on all the time and asked out every single day of their lives would be a bigger follower and fan than comic book nerds, artists, eccentrics, educated adults with college degrees, or hot and bothered men sitting at home search engine typing for hot girls like I share insights or stories about online on my sites. All the above do go to my websites....But hot supermodel chicks are my number 1 fan followers now and shy reserved british men who have a fear of meeting others or social anxiety of rejection or public speaking are 2nd in line of most common and loyal followers. British shy introverted men who fear rejection or social situation discomfortable shame and rejection instead of someones approval love me and my website. Hopefully I helped that shy british guy(s) meet new people or aggressively exert themselves in a social situation they were apprehensive to face before reading my blogs and stories of complete social fearlessness I have while still being socially awkward at times. They basically learned...you need to put yourself out there and socialize all the time with strangers, or almost anyone....and that you will get rejected....no way around it...it is par for the course....that not everyone you meet and come across will accept you or like you. How did I help my number 1 fan followers of former dream girls I have a huge tremendous crush on who have rejected me already before and cut me off? I am not sure how I have been of any interest or of help to these sexy women?! Do they want to study and read up on the nerdy type guys they have shit all over and rejected as unworthy of her cherished valuable time for years now? Maybe they want to use me as a kind of dysfunctional emotional guy freak show to peer in and be spooked by somehow as a cheap thrill of amusement? Do they feel guilty they are such a complete asshole to so many people like myself who liked her and all she did was treat me like garbage, so the only way they can admit they are a real creep and nasty jerk is to read some guy going off and ranting his heart out about being hurt and not fitting in easily anywhere he goes in life? Do they read or watch my videos to see what it might be like to have all the artistic talent in the world and the social skills to engage and approach almost anyone anywhere I go in life in conversation and getting to meet someone new but still failing socially many times with various rejections....rejections they themselves as pretty girls do not encounter or face from men because guys pay attention and kiss up to women they want to have sex with somehow if they feel they have a shot with her. The girls who no one rejects and no one turns down or ever says no to, maybe that is my main audience...That seems to make some sense at least now if I think about it. Because they do not get rejected or turned away by others and do not have to work very hard at anything they do and will always have praise and positive attention handed to them without ever having to work for it or prove themselves worthy of the attention guys give an attractive woman instantly right way for anything she does or doesn't even do. They might see or read about how hard I work, how much effort I put into things, and they decide to live vicariously through me for that. The spoiled bratty sexy girl who is always bored and not amused by all the attention she always gets only because she is pretty and men are hungry for possible sex with her likes the guy who works his ass off and still gets rejected by others all the time..???? The weirdest part of this whole ritual and dance of her cyber snooping me is SHE IS SOMEONE WHO REJECTED ME....Why read or watch all the time an artist comedian talk about rejection and not fitting in if you not only turned me down but emotionally devastated me by lying to my face in person or shaming me by treating me like a misfit freak that doesn't deserve to be able to say hello to someone as self important as her? No matter how many non fiction psychology books I read, people are unpredictable, hypocritical, dishonest, and to strange to fully figure out 100%....Women who are young, sexy and attractive still are so fickle you have zero idea of any consistency, pattern of behavior or their thinking abilities, it's like I guess trying to deal with a schizophrenic person not taking her meds and trying to have a healthy rational conversation or relationship with a person chemically imbalanced.....But the crazy part is these supermodels are not diagnosed as schizoprenics or pyschopaths....yet they act like they escaped from the walls of the asylum and somehow ended up at the nightclubs looking glamorous with all the different famous sports stars and famous rap or rock stars they hook up with as his cheap toys to play with and toss away when he is bored or she easily breaks because she is very fragile and cheaply made and not meant to last very long as a toy. Maybe they really connect to and identify with me the need for constant approval, praise, and attention as much as possible...This is something both pin up bikini supermodels and stand up comedians have both in common as people...The need to be noticed and heard and seen by others paying attention to you, the need to amuse or impress people to see your true self come out and like you, the need to mask your deep insecurities with your strengths, for men it is our wits, minds, intellect and humor storytelling skills and public speaking. For women it is her knowledge in how to look and move herself in a sexy way that drives men wild with passion and lust. For both of us it is a natural skill we have that we have to keep working on to feel filled up inside. If a socially fearless nerd comedian like myself and a gorgeous stunning but intellectual and ethically morally lazy supermodel have one common thing we can connect to it is a hurt damaged person seeking approval and recognition from others, we both want lots of attention. Oftentimes we both get that desired attention if we work at it enough, men with using his sharp wit being on stage performing, women with doing her hair make up and sexy skimpy outfits to reveal her exposed curves of her body and her ability to maintain her sexuality and prowess while working a long tiring day at the booth at the conventions or while doing a model shoot that takes lots of energy and focus to stay in character in a contained environment which is her stage she performs her character on as the talented actress playing a role that is very believable and convincing to the male audience.
As for the social friends who know me or of me and like me and my art as creative types like myself, thanks for stopping by again. Glad you came back once again, hope you and your unique art endeavors have been engaging and interesting trials and errors for you to keep growing as an artist and inspired creative person! so except for this last paragraph the above rant stand down confrontation has nothing at all to do with you and your support and kindness to me that I have appreciated very much. All the above relates solely to the girls who were teases or bad news for me who knew I liked them and still went about doing a non sensical combination of outright obvious rejection of me ignoring or avoiding me that really hurt badly while simultaneously hovering over me online on my social networking profiles and various websites the way an average everyday person observes a big movie star they are not used to seeing when they finally observe one out in public. Former friends who dropped me as their friend or lost contact with me a while now are all neutral territory. Because they were just friends, even if we were very close friends intimacy and our bonding was always just only a buddy thing. A woman I was head over heels just totally smitten and crazy about affects me in a way that nothing else can move me. People I had various fall outs with, and butted heads with maybe got me torn up...But it was totally different than someone I endeared as a kind of love romantic affection towards could possibly affect or phase me at that kind of level. Former friends even if their rejection really saddened me, it is not something that could ever even come close to emotionally moving me one way or another compared to the women I have fallen super madly in love with from afar...I saw her/you yourself/your friend/daughter/sister around and what I wanted in a relationship with her never came true, most often it blew up completely in my face with me feeling very ashamed and humiliated and left completely burning up inside. I have no desire to sweep off their feet or romance and get intimate with any friends, former friends, lost friends, or former enemies/misunderstood relationships with power struggles.......The way the women I dreamed about captured me and my attention. The two things of regular people good and bad encounters do not mix with the women I just adored and desired 100%. Plenty of people have changed my life in various ways over the years as both a supportive positive person I cherished looked forward to being with and around as great company, people as a neutral acquaintance or social friendship, or people I struggled with or did not do well with or seem to get along with or feel very safe or comfortable around much at all. No one I wanted more than the girl of my dreams. I set my sights often I am told to high, to attain a woman so beautiful as her/you that as a naive or childlike guy with a sense of wonder still intact and fully activated to discharge and delegate in creative ways at a moments notice....That she was unattainable and impossible odds to get as person in my day to day romantic life or otherwise real life day to day encounters. I went for what I liked and what my mind, my body, and my soul told me I liked and notified me right away as to her/your presence. Kind of like an alarm that goes off when you won a big prize like on the slot machines at the Indian or Vegas Casinos when you hit a big jackpot...that kind of internal extreme excitement... Which I love and crave because it is rare and not common except when ever I can see the girl I am in love with as a huge crush I have on her about in person or in the online published photos of her. I live for that rush of feeling and sensation when I look at the girl I have a crush on and extreme attraction towards. I never know when the next or new woman I like in that way will appear till my body gets that shockwave when I see the one of a kind outstanding sexy person that stands out from all the rest as a really hot girl. I have not lived up to my dreams, my expectations, my hopes, my desires, my ambitions, my plans, my goals, and my pursuits of action. Yes I tried, I pursued her, I followed through to make myself and my interests or intentions known, but I have failed many times. Terribly in fact many times. What do I have to say or show for myself now? I gave it a shot, I bombed, I'm a fighter and a scrapper. You can't call me a quitter. I got hit and knocked out cold. I was never a bum, didn't take a dive, but also never was a champ. A hopeless romantic emotional intense guy is like having a glass jaw as a prize fighter. I have hid away and ran away from women who approved of me or liked me back sometimes before...Why if a woman was respectful, on the level with me and normal person around me my interest and attraction to her shrank away in a protective heavily guarded fashion is an embarrassment, major character flaw I seem to have as a big coward around respectable, decent, respectful to me back women that I just tend to clam up into my shell. Mature women who are trustworthy and totally truthful can be imposing to me and make me nervous and uncomfortable, much different than in a way that a slutty girl, someone vain and into her sex appeal, who shows off what she has got as a babe, an air head, hot bimbo, or insecure girl who relieves solely on her good looks to do almost everything in her day to life will not make me so ill at ease with myself to be around the woman as a romantic type date. The mature woman represents high expectations and rules and regulations I have to keep up with or fail under. The insecure or immature and childlike sexy good looking woman does not cause me that regulation or expectations of higher standards or else discomfort...She has not yet lost her childlike immature state of mind and life style. I relate to and thrive upon that persona and way of life I see in the hot dumb not very bright or grown up like a real adult who acts their age and responsible as women. I don't want someone always dissapointed and dissaproving of me. Insecure and immature not very bright but extremely sexy and erotic sensual hot babes fill both a void and a spot I can easily connect to an identify with her right away. It is not a mistake of mine...I do not have a choice in the matter as a form of options of what I can convince myself to like or find attractive or not. Believe me I have tried so many times. I have a type...that type likes guys who are bad ass or tough bad boys or rich or famous dudes who will throw money and a jet set life style her way as his traveling sex mistress partner. Comic book nerds and eccentric intellectual off beat artists and deep thinkers and dreamers are not on her radar as a guy she wants to snatch up for herself before someone else gets to me first before her. People think I set myself up for this form of failure. I have not, at least not intentionally on my behalf...I have liked, desired and gone for a certain type of sexy cute girl that stood out to me since I was in kindergarten. A lot of it is a natural form of human overcompensation of choosing the best looking healthiest prettiest women to select to hope to breed with to propel the species getting rid of my flawed health concerns and natural uneasy anxieties and day to day chemical balance that is not easy to deal with day in day out...As intelligent as I am, I was self aware of this need to choose a certain type of woman as my mate since age 4 or 5. Her trustworthiness, her often questionable morals or varying degrees of her limited available intelligence she has at her immediate disposal have little to nothing to do with my internal attraction to this type of select bombshell hot babe bikini model looking woman very easy on the eyes. I want to be seen as appealing and cool to her as something she is in awe about and attracted to and amused greatly by me. Intelligent woman as smart or just as smart as me can brush me off as unimportant or unworthy of her attention and approval...If she has her own standards for herself that I can not reach the bar in as far as her intelligence, her intellect and capabilities, her career, her job, her degrees, her pay, her income, bills, resources. If I end up being just a dumb nerd not making enough money or enough out my life and zero things about me impress her...Why in hell would I go put myself through that kind of misery and torture??? I can offer what is on my plate that I already got in me and available, and then some in my loaded up munitions and fully stocked up arsenal of intellectual and enlightened and creative imaginative enthusiasm. Being dumb or smart does not make someone better than me or less than me and my respect and acknowledgement of herself. Very smart educated women are not so easily impressed by anything I have to offer. Girls who are hot but damaged and dysfunctional, tender, raw, now in the moment, insecure people who put all their available skills and confidence in herself into how she turns heads and just drives men wild and crazy has an appeal I feel a connection to and that I need and want in my life on both a survival instinctual connection that is from an internal part of myself and not by my personal choices, and she is less of a threat, less of a challenge that she can drop me for being better than me. She might drop me for a hotter better looking guy or more affluent guy at any moments notice with or without my knowledge. But as a innocent childlike adult with her sense of wonder and flirtations still fully intact she is better prepared to love to me unconditionally than a woman competing with me on who is the smartest to run things or best financial provider of the home I would be staying in...Like I'm always under the gun to be removed and fired as not good or qualified enough to keep my job of pleasing her and her high demands I would never be able to please and meet..Besides educated smart women do not often most of the time worry about how good she looks to men or how sexy she looks and do not flirt with and tease and try to sexually excite all the guys she meets or who check her out the way a good looking woman does. And if she is smart, educated, well off and employed and still really hot....Let someone else take her and be constantly under the gun to be blasted and put down as not being and doing better than her with her career, or making as much money as her all the damn time...Quirky and cute and adorable sexy chicks...man they might not go for me...ever...they might be hard to get access to an actual date with that she agrees to...but she is not a threat to me in my areas of my extreme creative, imaginative, passionate, and intellectual strengths...I want to enjoy life and have a funny girl who is always an amusing turn on for me, both for her adoring love for me and her jaw dropping double take rocking curvacious healthy hard body and gorgeous pretty face and hair and eyes. hot women who are not the rude belittling mean jerks or bullies are much more pleasing and amusing to be with and around when interacting with them. Hot a-hole chicks I might find attractive but would not get far with, I would not take her insults or constant put downs spit at me. I like the nice immature not super smart perfect 10 vulnerable from a distance hot babes with an air of psychical attraction confidence that their personal mental self image does not connect with as one and the same...where she knows she is hot and get anyone she wants, when ever and whom ever she wants to have...but she still dislikes many things and many flaws about herself, that inward displeasure and inward discomfort and sadness she has is so relatable and damn sexy to me...I just eat it up!!! That vulnerability she has in her eyes and her face and emotions and that lifetime of her pain and hardships she endured is just so sexy...A low class, toughness and her soft brittle tender outer shell showing the visible cracks interior emotional health damage and hurt...but the streetwise low class level mixed with the look and vibe of a high class gentleman's hooker expensive paid escort call girl, trophy wife, mistress, rich mans personal concubine, everyman's fantasy look perfect sexy looking exterior but hurt damaged interior...man that is just it! That is the very foundation for the appeal and successful career that pin up models and bikini models have to keep and retain their male fans from day one till their aging post bikini modeling career days of a past bygone era when their looks have moved long past their youthful prime, and they now look old and no longer as fertile, young, athletic, firm, strong, and sexy as they once were when at the height of their popularity with her fans who loved her and sexually desired after her as his ideal dream fantasy girl. Surgeries, do not count as far as her looking or remaining young...It is the vulnerable insecurity that drives the men bananas and her delusional undertaking in her much published lifestyle and totally shallow and reckless sexually promiscuous adventures, that was an act of anger and straight up rage at the world or her previous abuse or abusers of her past more than her just truly enjoying life and having fun...or it could be she not ever abused before but is just crazy and spoiled as someone no one ever says no to anything she decides she will go and do. So she no one who gives her any repercussions for any of her behaviors, actions, or not well thought out decisions she makes. It is her way of creating an image she is having lots of fun, her own mockumentary (scripted plot story with actors made to look just like real life documentary project) lifestyle trying to convince herself it is fun and great as she tries to publicize all of it as a bragging rights expose, that is often more embarrassing and humiliating to her when you see and watch what she shows or the people who used her said about her afterwards than it is not at all glamorous and flattering...but trash talking crap about her inadequacy as a less than human. The rap video bikini model girl lifestyle can be more of a freak show circuit for mentally ill or emotionally disturbed and unbalanced women than traditional Hollywood Royalty of big name affluent stars with all it's glitz and glamour and lives people only dream about. It is pretty much her throwing a temper tantrum by way of using men for lots of random sex partners to fill a huge void and fear of being boring or ignored and neglected as she was when she was a child before she became sexually active and a slut to be popular, liked, and fit in better with her peers who were not her friends before she opted to put out to be liked and no longer lonely and considered uncool, so she fell to peer pressure to fit in and get accepted by the cooler kids as a quick fix, that she never grew put of as a tactic she employs to have guys like her right away, but not long lasting relationships or friendships with the men she sells her soul body and soul to so quickly that the guys diss her and disrespect her as a groupie and side hoe to their wives or girlfriend, once the rap or sport stars screws the girl they trash talk her as worthless gross out cheap garbage, she used him for attention and bragging rights that she had sex with someone really famous and popular and loudly announces it very publicly to all her male fans and followers online who wish they got what the guy she just screwed as part of her career move of sleeping her way up to the top just had, and he uses these weak girls. She did not make sure he liked or appreciated her and her sex or company before jumping instantly into intercourse with the famous guys, he did not make sure she even knew his music or sports career or even liked anything about him except for the fact that he knows she is a sure thing, does this with almost everyone she meets that is famous or semi famous all the time, he knows she is going to brag to the world about getting him and being with him for her own status. He figures, hey she is hot, does not even need to make sure that I even like or respect her, and if I don't do her right now, then one of my peers in sports or music stars will jump in and take my place and spot in line of her list of famous guys to bang. Why not take the perks of my fame now while it lasts before I retire or meet and marry a woman I actually like and want as company that I can stand to be around more than just the sex and settle down with in my own home together. The groupies are considered dummies by the guys, gross, not trophy wife material to be with as a full time boyfriend or husband to this disposable play thing toy. A bimbo slut groupie is to embarrassing for an athlete or pop star to use as his own way and tool of acceptance from other his peers and the public representing him and his own status of being an envy of others to make him look good as she has his kids and does lots of charity work and public charitable events. The wives of many famous sports stars are very attractive often models that still work in the modeling world, and if they retired from modeling they now are philanthropists for maintaining his public image in the public and private sector for his personal brand image that gets more commercial product endorsements if she has some class and leadership skills to her image as a now very wealthy woman in society. Meanwhile the immature bikini model outrageous wild groupies and supermodels living on the edge that I often crush badly on will use a constant flow of various drugs and alcohol to numb her brains ability to deal with her pain and actions and stupid choices she keeps making, that she doesn't feel good about, at least not long enough for any of the fun to truly last and feel right inside her. The guys do not marry the groupies and hoes because they are not to be trusted, not loyal to him and his huge ego about his greatness in movies, sports, or music, and not smart or calm and classy enough to be prepared to represent him as his wife that would require a certain public figure image to keep his status in his industry and not be cuckold or laughing stock with rumors spreading about that would humiliate and embarrass him greatly and take his god like image down to a fallen idol of a weakling that the fans and peers will tear him apart about. That is why it is much safer for a famous sports star to marry a famous international fashion model who might be as self centered and vain as he is, but would not publicly cheat or go crazy at parties and clubs on her own that would lead to the idol on the pedestal to look trashy and low class. If she works or volunteers for a cause or acceptable foundation it already makes him look good and seen as a trustworthy and important leader in the community from her efforts representing him on her behalf. An immature groupie who still wants to go out and publicize getting black out drunk, high, or laid by cheating on him is a public relations suicide nightmare, especially if she drunk drives, hurts someone, hurts herself, gets arrested, or gets in the news for being an out of control complete idiot. The street prostitute player and hustler who came from nothing turned new money royalty overnight will kill a rich guys career or reputation if she has "well then let them eat cake" delusional disrespectful attitudes to everyone but herself including the area and life where she came from.
If she has no class what so ever now just a sex fantasy lifestyle going on, and she does not want to grow up mature and change herself and her choices, attitude and her behaviors...He can't marry her or been seen with her as his final selection for a permanent mate if he plans on being seen as a positive public figure with a good reputation others will approve of and admire about him or be envious of his life. He has to be with someone others approve of publicly in general who will not rock the boat as a crazy person make him look uncool, and looked down upon by others at large as very low class instead of rich and now upper class status and looked up to as a person of local leadership and community or national pride. He needs someone not embarrassing but acceptable and easily reputable to fit right in into the community and town his team lives in. Charities work and various helpful causes to those in need people or environmental or Opera Houses, Art Museums, pet animal foundations, conservation efforts, special needs kids or adults programs, teaching programs for those with needs not met and overlooked is an easy job for a new money house wife to be keeping busy without getting busy behind his back and help maintain a public image that makes him look responsible, ethical, and like he actually cares about other people besides himself. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't either way the public and his fans are happy he is a staple as a role model and humanitarian to the kids in the community he is in.
Basically the reason sports stars or famous guys do not marry their groupies or hoes they employ or pay for or giving her gifts of various sums to for a little pussy is:
The stupider she looks, The stupider he looks.
If she looks and acts foolish she will tarnish the type of reputation he is trying to build to either be a sports caster on TV after he retires, get into politics, become a sports team professional coach on the pro or top college level, have companies use and trust him for their commercial endorsement deals. He probably came from nothing or next to nothing and poverty. Now that he is rich he wants to fit in, not have everyone quickly lock their car doors when they see him walk past them in his million dollar homes gated community neighborhood he now resides in. He made it from low class poverty to within the short years of college sports to the pros upper class wealth of multiple millions of dollars to his name that would most likely not have ever been possible with out his hard work and athletic ability gifts at sports. Now that he made it to the American Dream to become very rich with the means of his newfound wealth, he needs to maintain the public trust and approval. His wife and family should not be seen as a threat or imposing and stand out to much at all to the general public, whose approval of him will decide how he spends his retirement and available options he can have during his sports career and then after he is retired from playing the games. Crazy unbalanced chicks who were rock star groupies like a Courtney Love type, well they fit right in with the sex drugs and rock and roll lifestyle and bad ass live fast die young reputation you can expect from rock stars. Kirk Cobain was probably not going to be doing Pepsi or Dr.Pepper commercial campaigns to get a youth demographic to drink the sodas, or his own signature brand of sneakers. Famous athletes, because kids play sports in school and as teenagers in their youths. Will be almost taboo to mention once it comes out that they use drugs, or did something terrible most of the public and general population is disgusted by at large. Rock Stars and Rap Stars everyone figures will end up in rehab or found dead chocking on their own vomit possibly one day. Most parents let the musicians be something that soothes down or connects to their rebellious child who is trying to got through the stages of growing pains to become an adult in the adult world eventually and move away from being an offshoot of his or her parents but her own unique person with individual beliefs. Most parents do not tell their kids to be like or live like a rock star who lives his or her life right on the edge, but they let the kids admire them as a form of their independence from their parents and teachers and personal self awareness of themselves no longer being little kids but teenage adults. Sports stars are pushed as role models to kids and teens by the parents and the schools. Once you get involved with something that a teacher or parent could not get mixed up in themselves and still have a job or good reputation if they did the same action bad thing the athlete was just got caught at, you are cast off till you rebrand your image and people are willing to give you another chance over time. For famous athletes it seems to be that time heals all wounds unless you have killed someone or animals. Sports stars often live fast exciting lives just like the rock stars do, but when the public finds out about the illegal drugs be it recreational drugs to get high or performance enhancing drugs, the adultery with the regular groupies, call girls, the random various sluts they were not aware of because his marriage seemed so happy and his family he fathered so normal and picture prefect, or his illegal activities like sports gambling while playing professional sports, they have to quickly do damage control, as every fan who loved them before now hates them and wants them gone for good! Remove them from the public eye now! They should not be seen as a role model for who they are and what they have done! Sports figures are trumped a lot as role models to kids and teens. So when they get caught and the news leaks and comes out about their real actual lives, the daily role models of kids and teens the parents, relatives, and teachers now want to share the almost biblical character flawed morals lesson story of our recent fallen idol and what you can learn from them and why you should be very upset about it and want them gone scratched from our memories about them at all.
The girls I seem to continually like the most and notice the most make their flirting, teasing and sexually exciting me and all the other men playful and fun. It's not just all strictly business of did I meet the standards and get the work done on time and at the level expected it be completed in as such without the need for disciplinary actions to take place against me or anyone else who has fallen behind or below the level of expectation. some guys want that shit and that type of high maintenance unimpressed woman dating you like she needs to lay off fire and get rid of dismiss more people under her management supervision from their jobs as her not equal underling who can at any time be reprimanded or need to let go and removed. I want the playful, youthful, spirited girls, I don't care if they have not fully developed their minds, brains, wisdom of her life and decisions she makes still, or her not fully blossomed intellect yet the same way their bodies have very much developed fully and filled out quite well to a fertile ripe healthy full grown adult young woman capable of having strong kids who will survive if she were to become pregnant. I like the approval you can get from a sexy girl who still flirts and acts with unconditional love and lust towards the men she chooses to settle for or submit herself with to not reject away but get embraced and loved by, coming from her like a title wave that blows men away they possibly could get a girl this unbelievably smoking scorching completely hot.
To me the saddest part of the play of the Peter Pan Story by J.M. Barrie is when Peter Pan comes back to visit Wendy his former girlfriend and she is all grown up. He is the same as he was and has always been, he did not change. But she did, she grew up and now was more like a disapproving mom authority figure with him, telling Peter, I'm an adult now, I can't go back and play with you anymore ever again. I'm told old to play with you now Peter! She is a little annoyed that he doesn't get it and her strong station in her life as a mature woman now dull, firm on sticking to no longer being playful at all like she once was. instead of now being cool he is out of touch and immature, looks lost, misplaced, a misfit, and someone to pity rather than receive her praise and admiration to him as years before with her. Luckily for Peter she has a daughter now who is just like her from 25 years ago and Peter Pan takes her to go with him to Never Never Land and be his new girlfriend till she comes back home to London and will also grow up and leave having fun behind her as thing of the past now almost completely forgotten a barely accessible or available fading memory that is hard to or even worthwhile for her time and energy to try to think about the past is the past, so who cares, it's gone, gone as if it never existed at all because we are now in the present moment in our lives. Well I try not to live in the past much. I do my best to be in the present moment, but I often am as a collector, artists, salesman, or hustler trying to line up something good for myself in the near or far off future. working towards goals I want in the present moment not readily available to me as something I want but can not and do not have any access to owning or being with right now, so I will line things up in place as best I could to try to have my wishes and dreams come true later on as initially planned. Well life will not often work out this way unfortunately. In fact many if not most of my ambitions or hopes I wished for to come true never come to be and cannot happen, or will not happen if someone or something else is part of the ambitious dream and goal, be it a new cat, a miniature horse of my own, or a loving girlfriend I relate to and feel very comfortable at ease with myself and very safe around her.
Once a girl grows up, and becomes a woman and closed off to fun and being playful and impressed with anything, or anyone else around her, like you have to win her attention enough for her to even bother to barely notice anything new now. It's a real turn off! I like people that acknowledge me and my existence. Many intelligent kind old ladies like me and appreciate me when I meet them in art classes, or in libraries they work or volunteer themselves at, usually an educated learning environment of studio classroom workshop or a bookstore filled with old rare books and relics of various types of knowledge bound together as an interesting book. Old ladies often approve of me for who I am like a grandson/grandma dynamic bond sometimes. I love approval and encouragement from strong caring intelligent women who still encourage others to explore things new and be curious and playful about life. Women who are 21 to 42 and not impressed with anyone or anything, and are on the clock watching how long it might take for you to impress them right away as being worth their time and acknowledgement is such a complete turn off. If she thinks all guys are idiots unless they throw money and gifts at her and intimidate the other men trying to have her...That is not even a battle I want to have a fight in. No one who thinks I'm not worth her time is going to work out with me if she acts unimpressed. Some hot girls act rude to me like this to me and then show up on this website and my other websites...Go figure. If a girl is cute she is still curious, playful, joyous, flirtatious, enjoying life with a youthful sense of wonder and interest about the world around her. Most women forget most men don't get turned on by an impatient demanding bossy finicky grouch bullying him like he sucks and is not good enough. No guy owes you all the stupid expectations you demand from him. Best of luck with your goals of landing this fantasy guy who cowards to you everyday and gives you everything including his self respect as you are no longer the cute young healthy hot girl you once were many years before you basically got old, having a cold demeanor mannered, acted really old, and look really old with lots of visible wear and tear .
Now I'm not saying I want to be a child my whole life, or that the lifestyle Michael Jackson lived as a childish multi millionaire hanging around with small kids as his friends was right, ethical, moral, civil, or appropriate. The guys life and actions with his behaviors was criminal and wrong to take advantage of kids who believed in him the adult as he pretended to be a like another little boy in the group of kids hanging around him when he was a often shrewd cut throat music industry businessman functioning easily in the adult world with getting what he wants and making contacts and business profits for himself and very very baby like immature in the child's universe and world for when he wanted to exploit various kids and boys over the years for himself and his desires, not for their well being as kids under his supervision and care. Whats wrong is wrong, if someone was out of line or took the whole, remain young at heart idea way to far into his exploitation of others.
But I think having fun and being whimsical, funny and playful, a bit humorous and silly at times is wonderful. Being excited and really interested in things again is really needed in peoples everyday lives, especially as adults with all our current stress we carry around and struggle with internally within our bodies and environments. As adults we worry about paying for things affording things we need live food, shoes, clothing, tooth brush, travel transportation vehicles, and housing to live safely in, and things we want but can still live without and be able to survive like an extra motorcycle to have around, or a brand new HD or 3D flat screen TV set.
I like girls when they still look like they have a sense of wonder and can be interested and amused by other people they might meet or encounter, or new things they might see and come across that intriegue them as a form of interest, amusement and curiousity. Even if they went through hell with abuse or their personal problems or are in bad shape because of a delima or circumstantial situation that had unfortunately happened to them, that sadness or fear or anger or unhappiness still can come out in a playful young youthful and naive or childlike way as a woman. Many times her face and look in her eyes does not lie to those reading the look on her face muscles, make up or no make up. I've seen it, I've liked it, and it can be very very sexy when the woman is gorgeous and so sexy and hot but running on a very child like way of living with her major damaged insecurities she has and her self sacrifices she will make to fit in and be seen with the cool crowd. what she learned by being the sexy slut to guys in high school she just applies to famous rap and sports celebrities by sleeping with everyone so she will think they like her or approve of her as a cool kid now. The guys really don't approve of her, but her childishness of her reality is hard to not watch and been so transfixed with as her fan with a crush on the fact that she has no self respect whatsoever but she was given the looks of a goddess, she hit the DNA jackpot looks wise, but she is selling and whoring out what was her blessing of being absolutely beautiful. It was hard not to fall in love with this spontaneous tragically sad and sweet little grown up girl dying to get approval from others and validation each and every day, just desperate for attention that was a void she will never in her life be able to master, control herself or fill up all the way as a damaged beautiful woman showing all the fears and sadness in a cute adorable way looking like she was built like a brick shit house as a complete bombshell babe of desire. She can fit in and get attention from all the guys for being sexy and good looking, but no amount of others approval and attention thrown her way would ever possibly be enough for her. She is needy, she is a broken woman, she is readily available to famous men, she an addict to love and comfort. She is the very definition of the word needy, desperate, and helpless, a damsel in distress trying to be cool hanging with all the bad boys and other side hoes like herself in the same boat mentally distressed and unhealthy out of control unbalanced girls with sexy looks and sexy curvaceous hourglass style bodies men all seem to be in agreement to like very very much. She can not stop herself or ever have it feels like it lasts long enough before she must do it again with someone else. I don't know that she is a sex addict as much as an attention whore addicted to someone approving and noticing her for her childish antics she constantly is endorsing as whom she is as the dumb hot chick. Guys can relate her to desperation to want to be loved and liked and fit in as someone who doesn't get ignored all the time. Bikini models use these stunts and blunders and plays they make to get negative attention all the time. It is unhealthy but a tactic they know works. When she misbehaves people look and see the woman acting up behaving badly, and she is willing to safrice her self respect and dignity because she does not have any and has not had any real dignity left for her adult and teenage life. divorce, abuse of some kind, abondonment issues big time, she is a damaged hurt scared child sleeping with the entire NBA and recording industry living as fast a life as possible till she will eventually burn out and fade away into a saddened unknown anonymous forgotten woman of sorrows lonely and old, or a life shortened than it should or could have been crash and burn and die young for living to fast and reckless about her own health and safety. or Marilyn Monroe did the same thing, slept with me for their attention and approval, and made it into a kind of game for both personal and professional self gain and personal bodily pleasures.
Not every model who has sexy curves on her hot body is a child or acts like a scared little impulsive girl. Some in fact many models I know about or know are very down to earth people. But because they are in control of themselves and not so weird and outrageous to get a morsel of attention from a guy they do not have the same appeal as the run away train. An organized hot sexy bikini model girl if she acts responsible does not thrill men the same way a wild child does. It is the whole uncivilized wild feral person matched next to a civilized person calm and collected and down to earth. Guys like the excitement of the girl who is basically a toy to play with or a small tornado ripping through everything and everyone where ever she goes. If you get more attention than her or have others notice or approve of your right away more than her, she is going to think she is in love with you. She needs the attention she is craving that badly. If people pay attention to you, they will eventually pay more attention to her and give her the love admiration and approval she really wants as that addiction of hers. She will align herself to that man, if he cheats on her or misuses or abuses or neglects and mistreats her, she will feel safe but unhappy with the familiar life experiences she knows and lived all to well through out her life. Their is no stopping her. She will run her self completely off the tracks eventually.
Huell Howser made a whole television career just out of being excited about things and people he met and saw around him. His show was a big hit with audiences on PBS because of his childlike excitable sense of wonder to ask questions and want to see something and learn about something new that got him excited to hear about it from that new person he just met. I met a negative A-hole before this year who had a shitty attitude and mocked me to my face for saying Huell Howser was cool and had a good show after he had just died. This negative moronic infantile man boy, could not stand things to be positive in nature, yet he was very immature for his age and acted childish, but what he did not have was an appreciation of imagination and that sense of wonder that things around you might be interesting or cool to see, hear, or discover and come across somehow. He had an imagination because he made angry ugly sculptures and artwork and he had good hands he worked with, but he totally lacked the ability to appreciate or enjoy anything that was not something negative. He was an Oscar the Grouch or Grinch Who Stole Christmas type of person. He did not like me and was very rude, and I did not want to be in the same room as him or deal with him because he was hoping to get under my skin and get me mad with starting a fight towards me. A bully is a coward who can't handle their own inner turmoil so they scapegoat and harass someone else to make themselves happier or fit in with their group of fellow peers by making someone else the misfit outcast. If a bully had real guts they would confront themselves and what is going on with them that is bothering them rather than lashing out at someone else around them who will probably not fight them back. Very few bullies will pick fights with someone who could clobber him to pieces mentally with words or psychically with fighting. They often pick on someone who stands out as not fitting in to begin with as a way to hurt another person, make him feel unsafe and hedge themselves with the group to accept him in and welcome him as a bully.
The real spooky part is all the surgeries these women who are knock outs choose to get work done on themselves! They are so insecure and ashamed of them selves, that they fuck up a good thing they had going for themselves by getting plastic surgery operations done in hopes that will make them look or feel prettier or sexier. Girls in their early 20's age 20, 21, 23, 24, getting plastic surgery done on her face, butt, or breasts? IT is so wrong, yet to her she thinks it feels so right!!! Why won't pin up bikini supermodels get finally that guys like a sexy cute damaged and emotional unbalanced flirtatious and impulsive woman who tries really hard to show herself and her life off at all costs just for an ounce of your attention? The stupid really off putting tattoo and changing her beautiful face and body for strange mattel barbie doll toy plastic surgery operations is just awful!!! These models do not believe the guys like me that love her for being a childlike impulsive, vain, slutty, hilarious hot chick who does nearly anything she can think of just for me and the guys to notice her day in and day out! We love her effort and seeing the damaged person strutting her stuff around, we like that confidence, but lay off the tattoos and all surgeries please! I know she will always get another tattoo, another surgery, another man, as soon as she gets insecure and nervous or feels awful inside about her life, herself, and about the world, but god damn how much space do you have left that is still blank on your body with non tattooed skin left now? And stop injecting things in your face and butt and breasts to make them bigger, just be yourself. I know saying just be yourself is a cliche generic term we all say just to say it, but with messed up sexy slutty hot chick supermodels, it is 100% percent true, we will still get to see the freakshow and abnormal hot girl without the permanent tattoos and surgeries to change her on the outside when who she is on the inside still hasn't changed from a new weird ass tattoo or bothersome surgery they should not have done to themselves! They fit in for not fitting in as somebody who does not love or respect herself and having boundaries with people. That is what we love about you a combination of your good looks, damaged insecurity, impulsive and outrageous immoral or slutty behaviors and flings or encounters and love affairs. The run away train of your life is still going to derail and fly right off the tracks and crash even if you repainted or rewelded and redesigned that same train car. It is the conductor of the train who is going to fast and reckless, the conductors the reason the fans boarded and took a seat on the train with her as we watch her life zip by us at dangerous unsafe speeds. Stand back folks, get back people, we have a pin up bikini supermodel about to travel through town here right now in any minute and I do not want any of you to get hurt or killed and in the hospital by this run away train, it is a danger, if you stay around here and want to watch it, it is all at your own risk people.
